The Dude Whisperer: Dudefile #46 – He Won t Take Down His Profile

The Dude Whisperer: Dudefile #46 – He Won t Take Down His Profile

Demonstrating you how ordinary it can be to understand a dude.

Monday, May Eighteen, 2009

Dudefile #46 – He Won’t Take Down His Profile

Very first let mij say, I indeed love your insight (the “wifey” included) on why Dudes do what they do. Thank you.

I have an kwestie about online dating. I’ve bot dating this dude for about two months. Two weeks into dating, wij agreed to be off the hook (before wij even had hook-up). My idea of off the hook is you are not dating anyone else at the same time.

I found out he has profiles on online-dating sites. I don’t have any online profiles on dating sites. He got defensive when I asked him about it, telling my friends shouldn’t meddle. That he does have profiles, but they have not bot updated te Three years and has not renewed the subscriptions. And he said he doesn’t react to anyone contacting him. I asked him what if I had online profiles on dating sites. He said that he wouldn’t be bothered by it. He said if he wished to date other people, then he would tell mij and expected mij to do the same.

The relationship wasgoed progressing nicely until this online dating situation came to my attention. I also know that there has bot no current updates of fresh information or pictures to his profile since he has bot with mij. He is acting like a beau, maybe a bit more aloof since I asked him about the profiles. If he just agreed to be off the hook to get ter my hot pants, I think his deeds would demonstrate. Now, I am 2nd guessing what his intentions are. I told him that if he is still coming up te searches on thesis sites, and it is a date webpagina, people think you are there to actually be available for dating. I know he is still logging on to the sites, but don’t know if he is actually crossing the line.

Is having an ‘active’ online profiles on dating sites while dating someone exclusively crossing the off the hook line?

Five comments:

Dump him. Sorry. But, I think you should.

Well, te defense of the dude, maybe he’s technically challenged and the idea of going to all thesis sites and figuring how to make his profile “inactive” makes his eyes bleed. Esp. if he is spending all his free time with this fresh ladyfriend. I know my dude is a major procrastinator ter this way. But I agree with DW, wait a few weeks and bring it up again ter a non-confrontational way. Maybe you can suggest to help, say, sit ter his poetslap naked while he takes the profiles down.

Dude should dump hier, and she should look for a pet-friendly apartment – I see a lotsbestemming of cats te hier future. There is no reason to date somebody who is so into having “relationship problems” that they’d make an kwestie out of this.

My concern with this dude has little to do with his online profiles, and everything to do with his eagerness to be “off the hook” after a scant Two weeks. Ter my practice, the people who leap the gun on commitment te this way are either of the “sultry/crazy/inconsistant/brief attention span” multitude – people who are ter love with love, and just toebijten to fall for someone fresh every few weeks, OR, they are people who are overly anxious to lock their playmate down, often without feeling compelled to lock themselves down. My instinct says this stud is te the latter category – if he wasgoed the former, he’d very likely be out the vanwege already. I’m thinking that what happened wasgoed, he met you, he liked you, you getraind his idea of what a “gf” should be – and he dreamed to make sure YOU weren’t gonna sleep with anyone else, so he suggested “exclusivity,” but he himself wasn’t ready to be off the market – after all, he’d only known you two weeks, how could he truly be ready for full-on committment? If you stick with this fellow, you should be ready for more of this “I hold you to standards that I don’t hold myself to” sort of behavior. But you should also think about why YOU were so impatient to commit to someone you hardly know. Seems like there are issues on both sides, here.

Oh. come now. exclusivity before intercourse is finta reasonable (and rather safe). It’s not a contract. It can lightly be rescinded if things do not work out.

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