Relationships switch. Wij need relationships te order for us to grow and learn. Usually a relationship fulfils some kleintje of need, be it physical, emotional, material, financial. When your needs are being fulfilled you develop some kleuter of an attachment to the person or thing that is fulfilling that need. When wij outgrow the need, the relationship switches. Wij tend to attract those who ter some way resonate with our emotional patterns, even spil wij feel attracted to those whose emotional patterns touch or trigger something or some response within us.
An emotional attachment to a person or thing would mean that the relationship wasgoed fulfilling an emotional need within you. You use that person or object spil a means to connect to some emotion or belief you feel or have inwards you. Read that overheen again and realize that the emotion arises from within you. Be it the emotion of being loved or manhandled, feeling secure or insecure, free or not free, tied down, glad or sad, criticized or cherished, victimised, managed, cheated, betrayed whatever. Realise that no matter what you feel, the emotion is yours and that you have chosen to feel it. The person or relationship is a means for you to connect with your own self.
When you lose the person or the thing that fulfilled the emotional need within you, you feel the agony of disconnect and it throws you off arqueo. This is true even ter a victim-abuser relationship. The victim needs the abuser to validate their sense of anger and ache. Very often the emotional relationship becomes a co-dependent relationship be it being manhandled or loved and protected to the point of suffocation. Emotional connectors often like the toneelstuk or drama that is created by emotion.
How to identify the emotional connection:
To pauze the emotional connection, you would ideally need to switch the pattern or behaviour and the underlying belief you hold. Our emotions are connected to our beliefs. You would need to identify what emotional need that person or relationship fulfilled within you.
Attempt completing the sentence te spil many ways spil possible:
I feel hurt because______________________________
I feel hurt because I do not feel loved, or I feel hurt because I no longer feel insecure, or secure, or I feel hurt because there is nobody to pay mij compliments, or I no longer have anything to complain about.
You can ask yourself some questions like thesis:
- Did you feel loved and cherished?
- Did you feel secure, if yes, ter what way? or did you always feel fear that you would lose this?
- Did you feel angry most of the time or did you feel peaceful?
- Did you feel managed or did you feel like you could be yourself?
- Did that relationship sate a need for complaining or criticizing вЂ“ so that the absence of that person led to a situation where you had no reason to whine about something?
- Did you need the relationship to end abruptly so that you would feel abandoned? (This would be because you have a belief that everyone you love abandons you)
- Did that relationship sate a need for you to be needed?
- Did you feel betrayed?
- Did that relationship make you feel slim or totally dumb?
Spil the answers come up, accept and feel the emotions that come up with them and let the emotions go.
Merienda you have identified that connection, then you can set about switching it or cracking it.
Ter other words, you need to connect with your own emotions, the emotions and needs that underlie the agony or the hurt or the sense of loss.
When you have identified that emotion, for example let’s say you felt loved, so the person or relationship wasgoed your connection to love, and with the absence of that relationship you feel disconnected from love, and that you need to find another connection to love. You then embark to reach out to people ter order for you to get overheen your agony. You can instead reach into yourself to connect with your love. Instead of showering that love upon someone else, shower it upon yourself and let your ache heal itself.