When our guest writer, now ter his 50s, became a widower, he wasn’t sure how to date again. He has some excellent advice – from private practice! – for 50-something boys going on dates
After 28 years of marriage, I found myself exactly where I didn’t think I would be: alone. My wifey and I met te our early 20s, married a few years straks and built our lives together.
But now, te my 50s, I’m alone. My wifey fought a two-and-a-half year war against cancer, but ter the end it perplexed hier. Spil a family, wij were devastated.
My choices were ordinary: drown into a deep, lengthy depression or embark living again. I determined on the latter and that meant, at least ter part, meeting women. Not just for friendship, but to develop a relationship, sexually and emotionally. But to get there and do that meant dating. Yes, gulp, dating.
Women ter all likelihood have waterput up with someone like you – and are not likely to do it again
Ter our 50s wij carry a loterijlot more baggage, or luggage, or life practice. It all amounts to the same thing, and it’s how you overeenkomst with it that’s significant.
If you’re going to begin dating ter what some call life’s ‘third quarter’ here are a few basic tips to help. I should say upfront that I feel spil good ter my 50s spil I did te my 30s. I still have a ton of energy, I’m excited about life and I think it’s joy to meet fresh people. Anyway, here’s what I found useful on my quest.
1. Be fair
If you tend to exaggerate your worth te the world, embellish, tell tall tales or generally string a line of BS, women will see right through you. Women are amazingly intuitive and te all likelihood have waterput up with someone like you – and are not likely to do it again.
Here’s a failsafe solution: just be fair. It works every time. Tell hier your interests, what your children are like, your career highlights and lowlights. Be ready to come clean, because she will know instantaneously if you’re not who you say you are.
Two. Get your bod ter form
Te our 50s, our metabolism slows down and our capability to build up weight increases. I have always bot a runner, hitting the streets three to ?ve times a week, accomplishing five to eight kilometres at a open up.
I made a renewed commitment to running, observed what I ate and cut down on my bebida consumption. It won’t take long for you to notice some results, but you’re going to have to stick with it.
Recall, you want to present yourself spil te form and active. Everyone has a few pounds to lose, and that’s entirely understandable, but you’re going to have to make an effort.
Trio. Pay attention and be a señor
Listen to what she has to tell you. Get to know hier and ?nd out hier story, where she comes from, what she does for a living, hier likes and dislikes.
Especially listen to what she says about hier family. I’m looking for a woman has a excellent relationship with hier children and hier parents, so I want to know about hier family trips, traditions and their love for one another.
To mij, any sign of a dysfunctional family could be a crimson flag, so I pay attention to that. Also listen for conversation about hier ex-husband/bf. You’re attempting to get to know one another, not each other’s ex.
And reminisce your manners. I think you should always pay for dinner, with no expectations. It’s the gentlemanly thing to do.
Four. Learn to cook
Spil your relationship progresses you’ll want to begin spending more time at each other’s place. She may cook for you and vice versa, so find out some of hier favourite dishes. Don’t attempt to reinvent the wheel: go after the recipe and leave yourself good time to prepare prior to hier arrival.
She will love the fact that you went out of your way to cook, regardless of how well the meal turned out. The point is that you made the effort.
Five. Up your private spel
Clean up, get a trim and a haircut. Buy some fresh clothes. Develop a style sense.
Cut down on the trinque, learn something about wine and love it.
Attempt something fresh. It’ll help you meet fresh people spil well spil have something interesting to talk about. I took up downhill skiing, which frightened mij to death, but I did it and it’s kleintje of joy now.
Buy a fresh aftershave: smell good and look good.