Check Wiring Before Discarding
The resident clinician at http://www.bencouraged.netwerk/ challenges readers to be quick to listen, slow to speak and even slower to get angry when dealing with folk who talk all the time. McNair suggests mixing compassion with wisdom when wij overeenkomst with people whose preferred learning style is ‘thru the ears’.
Trio Keys for Relating to Unceasing Talkers
Whether they are Four or 84, many genuinely wonderful people talk unceasing. Admittedly, nonstop talkers irritated mij for a long time until I discovered what they were indeed up to. There are Two kinds of unceasing talkers. The very first I’ll simply mention and promise to overeenkomst with te future writes and the 2nd I’ll concentrate on ter this article. The very first non stop talker is called the controller. This person desires to predominate every conversation with a ‘my fish is fatter than yours’ story or he or she will manufacture responses to questions, tell crude jokes or say just about anything to be heard. The root of this person’s malady is deep and worthy of an article all its own. Check back zometeen for that hot topic. For now, let’s overeenkomst with unceasing talker #Two who I will affectionately refer to spil Mr. or Mrs. Audio. One evening a close friend of mine who wasgoed going through marital difficulties invited mij overheen to give hier some wise advice. I arrived, wij got convenient, giggled a little and she began to share the specifics of hier complaint. She talked and talked and talked for about Three hours or so. My contribution to the conversation wasgoed a few scattered non-verbal “un hunh’s and umh umh umh’s “. When she finished she had tears ter hier eyes, she hugged mij and thanked mij overheen and overheen again. She said, “Thank you and thank Aker for you. I feel sooooooo much better.”
The amazing thing wasgoed that when I coupled the events of that night with my skill of learning styles and specifically audio or auditory learners, a light clicked on ter my head. Audio learners take ter information thru their ear gates. If they consider themselves a reliable source of information, they will talk nonstop until they arrive at the solution to their own problem. Spil soon spil they hear the solution they are usually done talking. For those of us who are connected to a Mr. or Mrs. Audio, it helps to know that the audio wiring works best when there is a live person te the slagroom or on the telephone. While you may feel like you’re being overlooked or that you can’t get a word ter edgewise, know that your being there does make a difference.
Three keys will help you maintain fellowship or a good working relationship with Mr. or Mrs. Audio. Very first, be compassionate. How often do you get the chance to significantly contribute to someone’s life by simply lending them your ear? Where children are worried, you’re actually validating their thinking process and making them feel significant. Who knows the influence that could have on their future. At the other end of the age spectrum, many elderly people, especially those who are homebound, benefit greatly from a compassionate ear. One of the most influential seasons of my life wasgoed the 9 years I spent te the company of a group of East Palo Suspensión, California seniors I nicknamed the “Bot There Done That Squad”. Many of thesis seniors were overheen 80 years old and I wasgoed the literacy instructor one day a week. Some weeks I only got a word ter from time to time, but I knew they needed the slagroom to express themselves. They referred to that course spil the highlight of their week. I witnessed many occasions when they would surface a complaint and keep talking until they drew out the solution from their own private wells. James 1:16 te the Bible wasgoed my onveranderlijk word of wisdom and has become one of the cornerstones of my instructing on communications. James wrote, “Be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to get angry”. Wise advice I’d say.
The 2nd key for dealing with Mr. or Mrs. Audio is to make a joyful noise. A joyful noise is the adequate non-verbal listening sound for any given situation. Being there and zoning Mr. or Mrs. Audio out does not count. Wij have to listen so intently that our natural bods and voices will evoke sounds that Mr. or Mrs. Audio will interpret spil encouragement and consolation. When James spoke of being quick to listen, he meant being alive to listening. When wij are alive to listening wij take the time to catch the feel and flavor of what is being said. I liken this kleintje of listening to the practice of eating my good friend Predikant Jean’s scrumptious fresh out the oven peach cobbler with a scoop of vanilla ice fluid. I don’t just taste it, I relish every bite and I literally feel the light crust layers melt ter my mouth spil the peaches and fluid caress my palate and then go their separate ways. When wij are alive to listening, wij catch the words, the tones, the nuances spil well spil the heart of the message. Wij are total of care about how wij react and do so joyfully. I’ve worked with a lotsbestemming of folk overheen the years and I am coaxed that a listening ear is one of the greatest gifts wij can give.
The third and final key for effectively relating to Mr. or Mrs. Audio is to suffer wisely. Bear means to bear up with patient tolerance. . Wisdom is the God-given insight on the matter and the Godheid pleasing activity that goes after. Wij are kleuter and gentler people for bearing the auditory folk ter our lives, but wij have to be wise about how much time wij give them and how often. Wij also have to speak the truth te love when they say things like “Am I talking too much? Or I need to shut up, don’t I?” Wij can reaction yes without maiming them. Wij can reassure them that wij may not have the time to listen now, but the next time they can be assured our undivided attention. Secondary schoolgebouw statistics number this group of learners spil about 10% of the population. That means that one te every Ten persons is a Mr. or Mrs. Audio. So, what are you going to do?