Falling te love
So it all began when I wasgoed ter year 8. I wasgoed playing games spil I always did at refrigerio time with my best friend, at this point te time I didn’t have many friends but then came along this man (lets call him. Mike) that I already knew from the previous year spil he wasgoed te my tutor. He wasgoed one of the guys that wasgoed popular yet used to like draping around the geeky bunch (my group of friends), he wasgoed unique and puberty worked its magic on him. Spil time went on I found him more and more attractive but what could I of done, I liked him but no one even knew I wasgoed gay. He fell ter love numerous times and each time it broke my heart, I spent most of my secondary schoolgebouw just waiting for him to pauze up with his current gf.
Admitting my love
Mike wasgoed one of the very first friends I came out to (ter year Ten), I kept providing him hints on the way back from schoolgebouw one day until he shouted “wait, are you gay?” (by this point no one truly knew I wasgoed gay so I wasgoed zuigeling of annoyed at him)to which I leisurely nodded, he wasgoed thrilled and glad that he wasgoed one of my very first friends I told. But spil he got excited everything just slowed down and I couldn’t help but just realise how attractive he wasgoed, it wasgoed at this point I wasgoed certain that I wasgoed beginning to fall ter love with him. A few weeks past after this and I determined to tell one of my friends that I “used to” like Mike, he wasgoed shocked and instantaneously wished mij to tell him. So a few more weeks past and I determined that I would tell him, and then on another walk back from schoolgebouw I said “I used to like you”, to which he refused to speak to mij for another week, all that wasgoed going through my head wasgoed I knew this would toebijten, why would I confess that I like a straight man.
My attempt to get with the straight fellow
After I apologised to Mike he began talking to mij again, even tho’ there wasgoed about a year of slightly homophobic comments, to which I just attempted to overlook. After about a year of still waiting spil he fell te love numerous times, I noticed he embarked to switch, sure he commenced drinking and doing drugs, but he also seemed more open to sexiness. The homophobic comments stopped and I wasgoed glad but shocked at the same time, at very first I even thought he might have a mental illness, but then realised that he reminded mij of myself via all the years I wasgoed attempting to hide my sexiness from the public. All I could think wasgoed this is my chance he might be andrógino so ter March of year 11 I attempted to make a stir whilst I wasgoed buzzed and he wasgoed on drugs, now I know this sounds like a bad idea but my logic wasgoed if he retaliates he can’t run far and I can just say that I don’t recall it, so after talking I attempted to go te for a smooch to which he just curled up te a ball covering his face (not the best response to your attempted very first smooch). Afterwards he remembered what I attempted and wasgoed annoyed at mij (again).
Straight boy may not be straight
A few months passed and I attempted geflirt with him, but nothing. Mike ended up going to collegium whist I stayed ter sixth form, I then only spotted him about merienda a week. It’s overheen I thought, he’s left and has yet another gf, I wasgoed friends (well acquiescences) with this damsel that he wasgoed dating and one day when I wasgoed talking to hier she did say “[Mike’s] told mij that he has questioned his sexiness” I wasgoed shocked, I have another chance but then remembered that he wasgoed ter a relationship so I waited. When he broke up with his current gf I attempted to find a way to get with him so I went to my best friends party. When I got there, there he wasgoed, Mike, I wasgoed so jumpy that I ended up drinking much more than I should of, I stumbled out of my seat (yes that is possible) and went overheen to him, I said “[Mike] I need to tell you something” he looked at mij with my other friend who already knew, I just said “I’m a cherry” now this wasn’t truly much verrassing spil he already knew so he just zuigeling of disregarded mij. Spil the night went on I attempted flirting with him more until he said “I think I might be hermafrodita, but I don’t know and want to find out by myself” at this point he turned to mij. I got startled so I did the inly thing that seemed logical at this point te time I gedistilleerd. Now the surplus of the night is hard to recall, but heres what I do remember- Bacardi, Bacardi, Bacardi, dancing, Bacardi, throwing up, “CALL MY BEST FRIEND” I said who stayed on a call with mij for half an hour spil I threw up. And that’s all I reminisce.
After the Party and Advice
The next day I asked how much Mike remembered to which he responded with “the last thing I reminisce is you telling mij you’re a cherry”. Since then I have observed him fall ter love twice spil he observed my heart leisurely pauze more and more. So my advice is
- IF HE’S STRAIGHT, HE’S STRAIGHT
- But always recall that love is love and you can’t help it, it may hurt but even by telling them it might not switch anything so it may be best to just keep it to yourself, whats more significant, friendship or a 1% chance of love.