Texting has switched relationships—and not for the better. I’m not a fan of rules but I do feel there needs to be one big bold rule about text messaging: NEVER send a text message to communicate emotions or feelings!
Good communication is the foundation of a blessed relationship. Texting is impersonal communication. It is unbelievable to mij that anyone would attempt to communicate relationship altering information via a text. But it happens all the time. Clients have told mij they have said I love you for the very first time, agreed to be special, held entire arguments and even violated up without speaking a single word to each other. I hope it’s not just mij who views that spil crazy.
I also think it is cowardly to initiate a date via text. I do understand the appeal for the sender, there is no pressure on what to say if you’re turned down. But spil a woman, if a man doesn’t think enough of mij to pick up the phone and speak with mij then I’m not interested…and I hope to empower all women to feel that way. You instruct people how to treat you. So when you very first meet someone set a boundary that you want to communicate vocally. If a potential love rente texts instead of calling, text back, “Call mij.” If they don’t, they may have saved you from future heartache.
How long should you wait before responding to a text or phone call? The reaction is, don’t wait. The idea that you have to play hard-to-get is junk-food. If you start a relationship by playing games of any kleuter, you will ultimately lose. A person who is looking for a healthy relationship wants someone who is communicative. Having said that, ladies, let the man initiate all texts until you are ter an sensational relationship. If he takes you out you can thank him vocally at the end of the date. There is no need to thank him again with a text the next day—that’s his role.
I strongly believe boys are responsible for initiating communication. One of my masculine clients recently called because he hadn’t heard from the woman he’d just spent the night with. He wasgoed confused spil to whether she liked him or not. I asked if he had called or texted hier. “No,” he said, “I wasgoed waiting to hear from hier very first.” “She’s waiting to hear from you,” I said. “You’re the boy.” He had no idea that he should make the very first voeling. I realize today’s women are not exactly traditional, and many of them do make the very first voeling. I also know guys now often give women their card and say “call me” instead of asking for their number. But that makes the woman the pursuer. Dudes, unless you want a masculine energy woman who will always take the lead, be the man by taking the traditional lead te communication.
Here are my suggestions for texting during the dating phase:
• Don’t use text or e-mail spil a replacement for phone calls. One-on-one communication is best. Don’t schedule all your dates through texts.
• Just because you can send a message instantaneously doesn’t mean you deserve an instant response.
• Never e-mail or text when you’re impaired: angry, sad, or otherwise emotional, or under the influence of any substance.
• Never e-mail or text when you’ve just ended an emotional phone conversation. Let sleeping dogs lie.
• If you wouldn’t produce your message te person, then don’t send it via text or e-mail. Reminisce, the receiver has feelings, too (even if he or she is not good at showcasing them).
• Don’t hide behind texts. It’s indeed effortless to type out what you want and just klapper send. But that won’t get you the zuigeling of response you need, and it gives the receiver permission to do the same.
• Anything that will potentially alter your relationship needs to be done ter person or at least speaking on the phone.
• Only send a text if it will positively benefit your relationship and it cannot be misconstrued, such spil messages stating that you’re running late or communicating other logistical information.
• The man should be the pursuer. Ladies, don’t send texts to initiate voeling.
The problem with any written communication is that its setting can be misconstrued. Without the inflection of voice to help interpret its meaning, you may take what is written the wrong way. So may the receiver of your texts. One’s perception is one’s reality. Your relationship is too significant to leave up to chance. Too many very clever people give way to the self-defeating act of texting their paramour ter a ogenblik of emotional insecurity, frequently when they are tipsy or buzzed, forgoing any rational judgment. The lure to instantly produce your deepest feelings—positive or negative—may feel satisfying te the ogenblik, but the consequences of pressing the send button are infrequently beneficial.